New people

I have a feeling that Jack, Joann, Jill and Jeff are going to LOVE this post.

Along with a program like this comes the presentation of a new college aged-cohort who, aside from their age and desire to study in a foreign country, have very little in common. You can argue that this phenomenon occurs when going to college or when finding a new job, which it does. And I'm certain it occurs to even higher degrees in other settings. But in my "branching out" experiences, which insofar include going to college at Penn State and working at Deer Valley YMCA Camp, this experience has been much...milder.

Most of my closest Penn State friends come from within PA or the very near surrounding regions, giving us the region in common. Almost all of my DV friends camped there before or knew someone who did, so naturally we have that in common. Even here, in my program in Spain, there are people from my side of the country, my state, even my university. But there are also people from down South, from the West, from the Midwest, from the Northwest...you get the idea. With these people the only two things we could immediately have in common were our home country and our age (give or take 1-2 years). With all this time to think, along with new people and forced conversations, I have drawn two simple conclusions: one relating to others and one relating to myself.

1) Good listeners and conversationalists are not easy to come by. I feel blessed to have so many people in my life that I really enjoy talking to. Being here has made me realize that while some people are very chatty and outgoing, it doesn't necessarily mean they are interested in conversing with you. They are interested in talking. Specifically about themselves. While you are talking, instead of listening, they're thinking of what they want to say next. After a little worry and confusion – thinking that these might be qualities that I also, in fact, may possess – I concluded that I do not. Family, while I realize that I do tend to dominate our dinner conversation and cut off people who are talking (sorry Jeff), I think you may be an exception to the rule since I am more comfortable around you than around most others – especially than people I have just met. But imagine talking to someone you barely know and feeling dominated by their conversation like you do by me when we have family meals at the house. No wonder you guys hate me so much! It's very irritating and, to be honest, a little immature.

2) I am...wait for it...introverted. I have gone my entire life thinking I was a cut-and-dry extrovert. I love to talk. I love to talk to people about their experiences and I like to share mine. I have always considered myself the opposite of Beans, who IS a cut-and-dry introvert, because I'm the chatty between the two of us. I can chat up a camper with the best of them, but it's because we have Deer Valley in common (thus they are not a stranger). But I am not good at small talk and I will not introduce myself to random people just for the sake of meeting them. I have a defined group of close friends as opposed to having lots and lots of "kind-of" friends. I have a ton of acquaintances, but I think that they stem from my more extroverted friends. I have always appreciated alone time, but I just thought it was because people were always around (parents, siblings, roommates, etc). Well, I spend a lot of time here not with people (or just with my madre), and I still enjoy it. I think the reason I go out more often in State College than I do here is because I know more people in State College. Does that make me anti-social here because I'm not interested in meeting new people? I hope not. I am meeting new people, but how I want to do it. I think it just makes me introverted.

My mom told me once that she and my dad took that test that tells you if you're introverted or extroverted, and that he tested introverted and she extroverted. I could hardly believe it. My dad always seemed outgoing and my mom always seemed like the shy one. But what I'm coming to learn is that introversion vs. extroversion is so much more than about how chatty you are or how good you are in social situations. It's about personal preferences and mindsets. There's a good chance that this blog was filled with contradictions and things that don't make sense, but whatever. Good vent sesh.